If only chocolate was fat-free and didn't travel right to my hips and build a summer home there.
If only my brother was getting married closer to home so I wouldn't have to sell a kidney to get there.
If only baby formula didn't cost more than my mortgage payments...
If only my hair wasn't pumpkin pie coloured, no matter what shade I dye it.
If only my baby would stop punching me in the head all night long, wanting to play.
If only my Spanish undergrad hadn't been a waste...
If only my book would sell itself and give me enough money to go back to school. And then travel to Spain to finally see and hear what I spent all that money on at U of C.
If only my toilet would clean itself.
If only my dog would stop getting into my bathroom garbages and eating dirty kleenex and leaving remnants around the house.
Wouldn't life be great?